Communicating by not communicating…

In my work as a relationship therapist, this is one of the biggest relationship killers I see:

One partner, for one reason or another, pulls back from communication... and with it, connection.

It’s rarely because they don’t care. Often it’s the opposite.

They’re angry, upset, hurt, worried… and unsure how to express it.

So they shut down. Stonewall. Withdraw.

But silence doesn’t heal wounds.

And emotional walls don’t protect connection... they prevent it.

What’s really going on beneath that silence?
·       Fear of being abandoned?
·       Fear of being unloved or unlovable?
·       Fear of losing the person altogether?

The answer is within.

If we want to create safe, supportive relationships… whether at home or at work… we have to understand ourselves first.

We need to know what’s behind our anger, our retreat, our silence… so we can learn to express our needs without shutting others out.

Insight + Vulnerability + Communication = Real connection.

This is what I try to bring into my therapy and my professional training work alike: Whether it’s couples in crisis, or managers trying to lead well.... emotional attunement matters.

Lean in. Not out.